Most of you know me in real life, or at least on Facebook..but I'll give a little background for those of you who don't.
My grandfather owns his own construction company, and my husband and I both work there. My husband does the physical labor...and I manage most of the office stuff. Up until recently I have felt very lucky and blessed to be able to take Mason to work with me, I don't have to pay for daycare and that's a huge plus. I felt pretty lucky and appreciative because most people don't get to take their kids to work with them, and are left with no choice but to put them in daycare. I'm sure daycare prices vary from state to state and city to city.. but around here, a good reliable daycare is going to run you about $600 a month. That's like our freaking truck payment. If I don't have to do it, which I don't, that's $600 more dollars in our pocket a month.
Then someone told me that I really should put Mason is daycare so he can be around other kids. I've been dwelling on it since, is he missing out on something? Am I cheating him out of something? Should he be in daycare to learn to be more social, smarter, and maybe even a little more disciplined?
I just don't want him to be missing out on something while hanging out with mommy all day.
He's around Garrett, and in a weird way Garrett teaches him alot (not always good things lol)..so it's not like he's totally "socially secluded", right?
What are your opinions? I promise they won't hurt my feelings. Do you think children being in daycare are an important part of them growing, learning, and thriving early on in life? Am I cheating my son out of something just for the extra $600 a month in my pocket? Because if that's the case...$600 more in my pocket a month isn't worth it.
15 comments:
Hey girl! First and foremost it's what you think is right for mason, not what people think you should do! In my opinion I don't TRUST day cares in the least! It really freaks me out the stories you hear about how people's children get molested, abused, or over-dosed. So for me I choose not to put Zoe in day-care it's a personal decision! As for his social skills as long as he's not totally excluded from other children, he should be fine also when he goes to kindergarten then they will get the socialization that they need and thrive for! If your really concerned try a "mommy and me" class they help socialize kids without creating trauma from him being away from you it's kind of like a day care but it includes the adults as well! Not sure how much it is, but ive heard of people enjoying them! It's really your decision, Hun...but as to you cheating him I seriously doubt it! They grow out of social anxiety and anything of that nature..your instinct is what you should trust and not how others "lecture" you on how to be a better parent! Bc from my perspective you are a wonderful mommy to mason! :)
I agree with ZoesMommy. Only you know what is truly best for Mason. Don't let anyone else dictate how you feel about the decisions you are making.
A lot of times, mother's (not always consciously) try to make other mothers question themselves. They generally do it to those who are in the opposite situation... i.e SAHM vs working Moms. It seems to help them justify the choice they have made. But what people forget is that what is right for one family isn't for another.
As you know, my boys are at home with me. They have each other so they are not alone, but they also have a few other kids their age that they play with regularly. Maybe you could organize some play dates with other kids if you feel like he needs more time around other children. Or, you can look into a play group which is very similar to the "Mommy and me" classes.
Just remember that you are a great Mommy and the thought that you may be "cheating" Mason has never crossed my mind. He is one lucky little boy! Happy Mother's Day!!
My opinion is that I wanted to be the one to raise my kids when they were little. My oldest was with me for 4 years of her life before she started school, and she is 10 now, in 4th grade, and she is socially fine!
They have a lifetime to be around other people, but only a short period of time where you can exclusively be the only major influence in their lives.
You are doing the right thing...don't question yourself Mama! xoxo
You have your cousin over every so often right? It's not like Mason is stuck in your house in the middle of nowhere. Maybe some sort of kid activity (gymnastics, baseball for tots, whatever) would be a good alternative. Way less then day care in cost but still gets him socializing. I was going to have Jensen in day care one way a week when we were buying a home but now that we decided to wait and are in an apartment complex with tons of kids I don't even worry about. Most all our neighbors have little kids and there is a playground here on site so I just don't even worry. We take him to the park and he has fun. Plus I have friends with kids who play with him so to me that's enough. This is MY time with Jensen, all too soon he will be in school. I don't want to share that because other people think his social skills MIGHT be hurt.
No way are you cheating him! My kids are home with us all day too! They learn the things that they need to learn from their parents just as much, if not more so than from other kids. As long as he gets some socialization, he should be just fine!
Just like everyone else has said, it's totally up to you! He's your son, and honestly, if you don't have to pay $600 a month, don't! You only have so long with him being little. So enjoy it!
Happy Mother's day.. THanks for your kind words.. If you son is only two I say do as you please. When my little one turned three she went to preschool twice a week. This gave her a chance to interact with other children and her teachers. When your children are young I see no problem and keeping them close to you. They will be in school or day care soon enough.. Have a great Sunday..
there will be plenty of Time for Mason to be in social gatherings!.. Both my older boys never went to daycare, because I have been a stay at home mom..
Daycare was ONLY started so parents had a place to send their kids during work hours..
It sounds like mason gets plenty of social interaction!..
Dont stress about it.. people will ALWAYS give you opionions on how they think whast best for kids and so on..but like the above comments said.. you do what you feel is best! you know your child better than anyone .. PERIOD!
He will have plenty of time to be with lots of kids when preschool starts!! enjoy him while he is still little
I don't think you are cheating him AT ALL! I love having Brinley home with me and I can't imagine sending her to daycare on a daily basis(or paying a ridiculous amount of money for daycare). As long as you aren't "secluding" him I don't see a problem with keeping him with you at all. I personally believe it's the best thing you can do for them. As the previous posted said, he'll have plenty of time with kids his age once he starts school.
In NO WAY are you cheating your son. You are giving him something precious that a lot of working mommies/daycare kids WISH they had...more time wtih Mommy! I had a brief thought about this when Hunter was a little younger (cuz my mom watches him at home for us, since we can't afford daycare and didn't WANT him in daycare if we could avoid it) but I got over it and fast. Hunter has lots of little friends he gets to play and interact with (our friend's kids) and despite the fact that he is not in daycare every day, he is one of the MOST social little kids I know! I am jealous of you, girl, cuz I wish I could bring him (and now Avery) to work with me. I think it would make me going back today from maternity leave MUCH LESS painful. :-(
And besides, Mason can do preschool or nursery school a couple days a week and he can start to get a little bit of what you are afraid he is lacking, interaction with other kids,etc. When Hunter is big enough I plan on putting him in a preschool/nursery school in town just for like 2 days a week (providing we can afford it when the time comes).
So don't feel bad, you are doing a great job!!!
Oh and I just read everyone else's comments and agree 100 percent...YOU know Mason the best and what his needs are, so don't ever let anyone (a mother or not) make you feel like the decision you made for YOUR child and family is not the right one!!
Hey, they're only little once, and if you are blessed with the opportunity to have him with you all day, take advantage of it! I regret so badly that I left my oldest child for 2 1/2 years while I worked full time, until my 2nd child was born. They grow up so quickly and life happens fast--I vote for keeping them with Momma as long as you can.
No, you are NOT depriving him/cheating him out of anything. You are giving him the best gift he could ever have--You! :)
SAHM vs working mom & daycare vs being with mom are such personal decisions. I don't think there is anything wrong with either option. Each family needs to do what is best for their family.
I'm going to be a SAHM and my children will be with me all day. I plan on finding some kids activities at the library, or even bringing them to the park to meet kids. I don't think you are cheating him at all. Pretty soon he wont want to hang out with mom because he will be with his friends all the time. enjoy it now!
hi morgan- i used to follow your old blog and may have commented a handful of times. im so glad i found you again (we may have also spoke on web.md back in the day)! anyway, i wanted to chime in and say, while you might not be "cheating" him out of something, it may not be a bad idea. i dont know how the schools are in your area, but not everything is a horror story. if you can find a clean, reputable, licensed place- it may be worth it to take him part time. sometimes schools offer half days, and most of the time you dont have to bring them 5 days a week.
i am a pro-preschool mother. even if i didnt work, my son would go. my son currently goes 5 days a week full time to a certified center. if you ever have any questions, you can email me.
good luck in whatever you decide to do!
diana
IDK I'm sure your just as torn as Sam is....((HUGS))
Well I just had this long thing typed out & it wouldn't post >:-\
So here's the short version- I do see the benefits in a way because Delilah doesn't go to daycare and when other kids are around she has no interest in playing with them. However, that's not all kids. She adores DH's niece and my friend's sons. Mostly I guess it's kids who are strangers.
However I feel very blessed that she's able to stay home with her dad. And even if we didn't have that benefit she'd still be with family because there's no way in hell we could afford daycare.
If you're really on the fence & want to check it out see if you can enroll him part-time just to see how it goes. But don't enroll him to socialize him because other people think he's missing out. Do it if you think you should.
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