I've waited for the perfect time to blog, then nothing comes out.
It reminds me of a post I read on a friend's blog about feeling like you have to meet some sort of Blogger expectation or something, for your words to be of any kind of value to your readers.
As some of you know, I used to blog for over a year when I was trying to get pregnant with my son. Then, it became a chore to me. I felt like there was so much pressure to write the perfect post, to word it just right, and somehow "attract" my readers at the same time.
I remember receiving a comment years ago that someone left on my blog, "anonymously"..imagine that, that said "my grammar and punctuation was horrible. My post were boring. I was stupid because I typed "me and Kevin" instead of "Kevin and I" once on accident...and that I shouldn't be aloud to blog..."
I remember their words hurting me, there I was putting all my thoughts and feelings on the line and the whole time someone was reading and judging.
Then, I found myself writing for OTHER people instead of ME. Which eventually was followed by a hate for blogging and then I just stopped cold turkey. My blog wasn't "my" blog anymore.
After a few years of lurking on blogs and not posting myself...I realized you don't have to be perfect.
Your grammar doesn't have to be perfect. How you feel or think doesn't have to be perfect. Neither does your style of writing.
If someone doesn't like my blog, suck it. No one's life is perfect, no one's feeling are perfect, NOTHING is perfect...so don't try to make your blog that way. I chose my new blog title carefully, it says "Diaries" because this is my place. My place to be me. Be Morgan.
You know what people's problem is these days? They are so judgemental and critical. I saw on a friend's blog the other day a comment that sort of made me mad..they told her "I had to skip your last post because your grammar was pretty annoying.." or something along those lines. Who gives a shit?
Who are you, the grammar police?
People just don't know how to keep there they're their words and opinions to themselves.
Anyways, moving on.
The Dr. decided to double my dose of Clomid this month, tomorrow is my last day taking the 100mg. I was a little nervous because when trying for Mason the 100mg made me a bit crazy. Okay, a lot crazy. The 50 mg I took last month tended to mess with me a little too...but I honestly haven't felt hardly any bad side effects this month. No bad moods or psychotic behavior. I have actually been in a wonderful and happy mood lately. The only bad thing has been the sweating and hot flashes...which I can deal with! I'll be sure to keep everyone posted on what happens this cycle.
I really want a girl, like bad. Just so you know, I would be thrilled with whatever. But if I can increase my odds of having a girl then I will try. We are "trying" the Shettles Method but if nothing happens in a few months we are going to stop trying the Shettles and just go with the flow. They only allow me 6 months on Clomid and I'm on my second.
That's all for now folks. Y'all come back now..Ya hear?
10 comments:
I am happy that you feel comfortable with writing the blog that you want to. No one should be making you feel bad about writing what you want. I love reading your blogs and I am so happy that you decided to start up again!
I truly hope that the clomid works for you this cycle and that you get your little girl. Keep us posted!
Hey Morgan!
I Love reading your blog!.. I have felt the same way you have of being in a blog rut..
I have learned, I just write whats on my mind, and ON my time..and if people like it yay, if not.. oh well.. bad grammer and all haha!
Im glad to hear that medicine isnt doing too much havic on ya!
I have to tell ya tho.. I know from experience, There is no such thing as doing stuff to get a girl.. We Tried 3 times!!! haha
I wanted a boy for my first child, but we didnt try anything.. I wanted a girl for my second, and well I have Dominic ... I wanted a girl for my 3rd and that was my miscarriage which was a boy.. and lastly with Luca.. I read everything I could.. and We had Luca hahaha
There is no majic method .. I mean you can have sex on tuesday, stand on your head, spin around backwards 5 times, and eat peanutbutter with a fork.. and it still boils down to You get what God wants ya to have :-)..
He knows the plans for our lives better than what we Think we want or need..
I hope I dont sound like a Buz kill??
I know your desire for a girl, BOY do I know! hahah..
Try not to get your hopes up.. I always say.. have another baby because you want another family member.. not because of a certain sex..
Keep us posted on how the meds are working..
ANd please continue to write yoru blog, I love reading it, and hearing yoru thoughts and stuff!!
Mitzy- So, you guys did try the Shettles Method?
And thank you for enjoying my blog, I'm glad I found yours again too! :)
Who gives a crap about what other people think about your blog. If they don't like it then DON'T READ IT!!! I think your blog is interesting and I enjoy it! Thats why I read it. People don't need to be so judemental. And yes thats probably spelled wrong, but I DON'T CARE!!! LOL!!
I hope u get the girl that u want, but let me warn u there not all angels with curls and pretty little smiles that melt your heart when they get older!!! Mine is 10 and oh boy let me tell u!! The attitude and drama!!!! Her and her friends r all the time fighting at school and its over stupid stuff!! Boys just fight over it and then its over!! LOL!! Yes boys might be a little bit more wilder then girls, but there is no drama!! :)
Keep blogging girl and don't worry about what other people think. U can be YOU and we enjoy it when you are U!!
yep, we tried the shettles thing.. maybe I didnt do it perfectly, but I tried :-)... I thought I wanted a girl that bad hahaha
When People tell me" oh I did Shettles and Got what I wanted, I tell them.. It is Coincidence, and GOD choices what we have, not us :-)..
I thought I wanted and needed a girl, but now that I have 3 boys, I realize his plan is much better than mine:-)
I am with you it is your blog and you should be able to do what you want and say what you want. It does not matter what you write or if you mess up. I do it also and fix it when I see it.. Good luck with the baby.. It took us six months to get pregnant with our second baby. I lost my baby a year ago and it just took time. The waiting was so hard. I wish you the best of luck..
Ya know I hate when I read anything and people don't use words or things correctly (not talking about the difference in say me & John or John & I) but I don't say anything about it because ya know what? It's not that important to call someone on it. Poo to that person because you're right- this is your space where you can be you. I love reading your blog- even if you don't feel that it lives up to the exciting blog you think it should be.
I'm rooting for you two so hard in your new baby endeavor. It's so great having two- I love having our girls and I know you'll love having Mason & your future boy/girl.
Girl it is YOUR blog! Have you read mine? I miss spell and have to go back and recheck. I make incomplete sentences add too many commas and periods lol.
I hope the Clomid really works for you. It would be great to be preggo together lol. Wish you did not have the sweating or hot flashes at all but I guess that is something you have when you take that medicine. Hopefully the Shettles Method works for you guys.
I've stopped reading blogs because the grammar was horrible. The thing is if you know about proper grammar (the right homophones, etc) they it's really hard to read it when it's wrong (takes me twice as long). BUT, I'm by no means looking for perfection (the grammar police would have a hayday with my blog for sure) but that it's easy to read. Your blog? Absolutely fits the bill!! It's easy to read and I love hearing about your life! I'm glad you are back. That anon comment was most likely made by someone who has low self-esteem and was having a horrible day. I NEVER give anon comments attention and only get about one a year.
And yeah, GOOD LUCK with the Shelties method. I so wanted a girl too. Fingers crossed for you!!
I know what you mean girl. Sometimes when I've been in a blog rut, it's been so hard to sit down and figure out what to talk about.
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