My grandfather owns his own sheet metal company, and my husband and I both work for him. It's a family business, with my grandfather, my husband, my uncle (Garrett's dad, who never shows up anyways), and myself. We have one other guy that works there that's not family, Danny. He's a good guy, a hard worker, and he helps my grandfather tremendously. But, the guy gets a period every month and gets all pissy pants on us every once in awhile. He's gotten mad at my husband because something didn't go right out in the shop, and he just left without saying a word. He left my grandpa hanging, which was kind of dirty to me because he gets paid good and we pay him for every sick day. He's got it made up there really, we all do. Anyways, my grandpa has taken him back every time, even when he left for months with no word. He still always had a job waiting when he decided to pull the stick out of his ass.
When he's in a bad mood we know not to mess with him, but April Fools day was one of his good days. He was friendly and I wasn't expecting him to be rude and pop off a comment.
We were all standing around outside Friday laughing and talking and I thought I'd fool him, so I told him Kevin and I are expecting again.
After I told him it was a joke, he said, "Thank the Lord, hopefully you know to get your first child under control before having another one."
It was like a kick in the gut, I immediately felt my face turn red from embarrassment..then the anger kicked in.
Who was he to tell me my child was basically out of control? I felt offended, as any mom would.
Then, when the anger went away I got to thinking. Am I really becoming too laid back with Mason? Do I not discipline well enough? Am I not strict enough? Is he really "out of control", or just a toddler?
Before I had kids, I would see kids in stores being awful and think to myself "why aren't their parents doing something?"
Now that I'm a mom, I have THAT kid, and it's so much easier said than done.
I do discipline him. He gets time outs, I've raised my voice then tried not raising my voice, taken his favorite toys away, put him in bed for naps, and even got to the point where he has gotten a few spankings now and then. Honestly, I know I'm going to be judged by that last part...but the spankings seemed to work the most. I don't "hit" him, it's a light spanking on the butt with a diaper on.
I just feel like I'm constantly getting on to him! He's always in trouble, I always have to do some form of discipline, and I feel like I'm always telling him "no". I just don't want him to think of me as always mad, or aggravated with him. I'm just sort of torn on this whole "bad toddler" thing.
One thing I know, even though at times my son is "out of control", it's not going to stop me from having another one.
"It wont be like this for long.."
11 comments:
Age 2 is a hard one for everyone, I promise you that! Brinley has spent a lot of time in time out here lately because she's testing her limits. It's what kids do, it's not just Mason don't worry, this will pass. :-)
I agree with Rikki. All kids go through the testing phase and you just need to decide how you want to handle it and stay consistent! eventually he will understand the consequences of his actions and there will be less disciplining and more warnings. My boys are at the point now where all I have to do is warn or threaten a consequence.
I am sure that Danny probably doesn't have any kids and that's why he was so judgmental. Sometimes people without kids are just clueless!
I think you are a great mother, and that it's just Mason's age. Obviously, I have no experience in this area just yet, but I do know that kids act out, regardless of how good a parent you are. As far as the way you discipline, it's up to you and what works best for you and your child. No one has the right to criticize it. I would hope I hope to have the perfect child, and would never have to discipline him, but that's not realistic. Every child goes through certain behavior issues and it's no reflection on you or if you should have more kids. People who make those comments don't understand, and if we all waited to have another child until the first one was perfectly well mannered, well, then we'd ALL be only children! You are doing great! Love ya!
What an ASS!!!! Seriously I would have told him it was NONE of his Fing business!! Your child is not "out of control" and only people without kids would think that.
You know what's out of control? An adult man who skips out on his RESPONSIBILITIES and leaves his job without saying good bye for long periods of time.
NOT a TODDLER who is testing bounds and learning the rules of what "society" expects a child should act like.
I am angry FOR YOU reading this!! I hope we both end up with our January babies this month!
I think it is the age. Two-Four is awful! They will test you, they are "out of control" it is the age.
BTW, I was never one who fell into the I will never spank my child, sometimes they need it. The law clearly states open hand, on the butt, over clothing.
Hayden gets spankings at times too! Don't worry, it won't scar them! My parents used to do the whole, bare bottomed, spoon thing. That sucked!
Kids at 2 are hard. Like everyone else has said, they pick up things from other kids and tests them out. It's part of growing up! That guy sounds like someone who never aged PAST 2! Holy cow!
You're a great mom! Don't stress too much about it!
For one thing dont let what anyone says make you think even for a second you are a bad "mommy" I know diffrently and I know that you are a absolutely wonderful mother to Mason and your second baby will know that you are just as Mason does! That was a rude thing to speak to you as it would be to any mother! He's not there to see you when your around Mason at other times so he need not judge then, blurt out that you need to control your kid!
I used to be the same way with seeing people and how horrible kids would be in the store, but really it's contriversial. Some mothers like you, do disapline their kids but sometimes kids are just kids and you don't want to be harshly strict on them or they WILL rebel when they get older as I DID!
I don't exactly know how its like since zoe is barely 6 months old, but I was there with Emily ( My sis) and it was awful, but just know that it will get better very soon and that you are doing a very very very good job and DO NOT let others make you think other wise...
Also I believe in a little spank does a child good and it helps them learn! Even like spanking on the hand helps also.. I would always whisper in emily's ear when she would act out in the store " you want to go to the car?" and she knew that meant she was getting a spanking ( since people take it completely out of context and think you are abusing the child, and to avoid obvious dirty looks, and mumblings under the breath, I would take her out to the car) anywhoo, I would say that and she would straighten up right then and there!
But I know you are doing great! Dont change a thing!
I seriously would have told that guy HE was a fucking idiot. Mason is a toddler!!!! Every time I worry about how "bad" hunter is acting, my BTDT mom friends assure me is perfectly normal, it's the age and things WILL get better! So chin up, don't stress about what some dumb ass said. You are doing a great job!!
Wow, what a gigantic idiot with no class. Seriously, Morg, don't let him bother you. 2 year olds are like that...they are ridiculous, unreasonable human beings! But it gets better, I promise. Don't question yourself...you are his mom and know best. Pick your battles, trust me...so many things that feel like a big deal regarding how he acts when he's 2 seem like they are huge mountains, and while aggrivating, they just won't matter in the long run. Hang in there woman! You are strong!!
Oh my honey, sounds like the guy is a jerk. It is always easy for someone who does not have children to say something hurtful like that. Dust your shoulders off, because honey you are a DAMN GOOD momma! I agree with all your friends above this comment, children will test your limits to see what they will get away with.
I was like you once Morgan, when I saw someone in the store and their child was acting all crazy. I would be like oh my how embarrassing. But now I can understand those parents because I have been there so many times. Right now Mason just wants to push and push to see how much he can get away with.
Kasin is the same way honey, and of course there are some days that he is out of control. And I just wait until he is in bed for the night and drink WINE! It helps keep your sanity lol. And you discipline Mason how you feel is right, and there are some things that will work and other things will not. Eventually he will know that you mean business and will start acting right. And of course we know you do not "hit" him and you know that you will not be judged, at least not by me. :) Just keep doing what you are doing and just know that things will get better. Even though mine is going on 5 in a couple of months it will eventually get better. lol.
Just discovered your blog accidentally! First of all, good luck with TTC for #2! As for your coworker, if he does not have a child, he doesn't know what he is talking about. I like how someone pointed out that he walks out on the job, so how can he complain about your little one? As for discipline and managing behaviors, my daughter is 3 years and 7 months and I feel like it is a learning process. I really think I'll be learning for the rest of my life! One book I found to be very helpful is Love and Logic: Magic for Early Childhood. Basically, they suggest that the parent show empathy and have logical, age appropriate consequences. For example, something like "that is so sad. We are done playing with that toy now." Or "What a bomber. We are leaving the park now." For a child his age, relocating him to a different room, removing the toy, removing him from a certain area often works. You will find that if you use a phrase consistently, like "uh oh, that is so sad," your child will begin to get it. When my daughter did something, I was angry, of course, so I figured how the heck can I show empathy? Turns out I was faking it for a while, but after a while, I felt like it was sincere. It does take some time! One thing I try to remember is that her behavior is not about me, it is about her age/developmental stage. I hope my rambling helps a little! :)
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