skip to main |
skip to sidebar
Tell Me Tuesday
Hosted by Canadian Mama
I decided to play along with Canadian Mama's Tell Me Tuesday, so every Tuesday I'll post a question and you tell me your answer/opinion.
As I mentioned in my first post, we are having a few discipline issues with Mason. He is in the whole terrible two's...screaming and throwing a fit, usually in public...has to have it his way..LOVES the word "no"- THAT kind of stage.
I really hope it's his age, but Kevin had ADHD really bad when he was a child. I never did, maybe OCD sometimes but not ADHD. I don't think lol. Anyways, there are things that Mason does that makes me worry he may have it. I know it's too young to tell, and it could just be his age, but there are certain things I can't really explain that makes me wonder if he will have it when he gets older. It worries me because I know it can affect their learning.
Ok, back to the whole discipline thing. I just don't really know what to do. He will not sit in time out, he screams and kicks and can barely be held down. He screams and hollers when he doesn't get his way, and it's so hard to not raise my voice back but I know that won't help. I've tried getting to his level, looking him in the eyes and telling him calmly that he isn't being very nice. A few times he has hit me in the face. I really don't know what to do. He is totally the kid you hear throwing a fit in Wal-Mart because he didn't get a ball we passed by, or a snack he didn't need.
It kind of makes me feel like a failure as a mother, where am I going wrong? I see kids in restaurants sitting so calm and being so perfect, what are their parents doing..drugging them before they go out in public? Why won't my kid be that calm quiet little kid in public? Am I doing something wrong?
So here is my question to you parents for TMT. How do you discipline your child(ren)? Are there things that you notice do and don't work better?
*update- I thought of one more random question I wanted to throw in here. :)Is my blog font hard to read?
7 comments:
First, I don't think your blog font is hard to read, I worry mine is too though lol!
Second my son is 14 months old, but definitely testing the bounds already. He is however one of those well behaved kids in the restaurants, he's very chill. So not sure how helpful I will be. But how we do time out is he gets a minute for every year of life, and he has to sit in my lap with my holding his hands. He does not like this and it's very effective. We don't spank as he started to hit, and you can't teach them not to hit if you are hitting. So no spanking for us and his hitting MOSTLY stopped. He still does it on occasion but not usually out of anger. Maybe he is getting too bored and frustrated? Maybe try taking him to some new places, or letting him run around at a park. I don't really know your routine so sorry I can't be more help!
Morgan, I agree that your blog font is not too hard to read.
I also think that Mason is in his terrible twos. It does get better with time. As they get older you can explain things to them (like consequences to actions) and they can be reasoned with a little more.
I have found that physically putting the boys in time out does not work. They tend to resist, move from the spot, etc... So instead I started to put things in time out. If they are fighting over something, it goes into time out. If they are misbehaving, then their favorite toy or stuffed animal gets put into time out. You need to find his currency and once you figure that out, you will have some leverage.
The other big thing is being consistent. It doesn't really matter what you do as long as you are always doing the same thing. The minute they see a loophole, they will exploit it... I am sure you will find something that works for you and Mason. Good luck! I know how tough it can be.
I can read your blog font just fine :-)
With Delilah we do timeouts- they seemed to work for a bit but then it was like she thought they were fun or funny. Since time outs weren't working on the couch we stuck her in the corner & she didn't like that. We usually just have to threaten timeouts now & she doesn't really need that done much.
The best thing to do IMO is when you put him on timeout & he doesn't stay keep putting him back. Even if you have to keep doing it a million times make him go back to the timeout spot. If he's going to scream/cry/whatever let him... he's doing it for attention & you're giving it to him by responding. Just ignore him- don't look at him, acknowledge him, etc. If he's doing it in public tell him once that if he doesn't stop you will leave wherever you are & he will get a timeout in the car before going home.
As far as the hitting- Delilah's done that too... We just tell her firmly 'You don't hit' and if she does it again she gets a time out.
Like Lisa said- be consistent. Good luck hun- I wish I had better advice!
Morgan I have been in your shoes with Kasin so many times. He use to hit, bite, slap, kick me whenever I said something he did not like . We tried timeout we tried spanking, not letting him get toys in walmart. The works! Nothing seem to help.
But one day Harry saw him hit me. Harry jumped up from the couch and yelled and told him to come here. Well of course Kasin says "I'm sorry!" And Harry raised his voice and told him that you do not hit your mother! She is the only one you have, if you hit her ever again I will whoop your hiney and you will sit in timeout and no more toys for you. Well needless to say he did not EVER do it again. Mind you this scared Kasin because he is not use to Harry being the disciplinary. I am the one that spanks and raises my voice.
I get the occasional slamming doors and stuff, but that is all.
But here lately when he gets mouthy we sit him in timeout. And he is suppose to sit there for 4 minutes since he is 4. But until he calms down he can not get up. We put him in the hallway (where I can see him) but he can not see the TV. And after a couple of minutes he is fine. I agree with Elizabeth on the time out. Do not talk to them when they are in timeout or acknowledge them. I know it sounds harsh :( but it works. And then when you are ready to let him out of timeout, then have him come to you and focus on you and tell him " I love you so much, but I did not like what you did/said or whatever. It did not make mommy happy. And normally that works. That is the best advice I can give. But this is my first child and I am still learning the ropes.
Hopefully you will find out what works for you. And also like Lisa said, be consistent!
No I don't think your font is hard to read.
IMO I think a lot of Mason's issues are the age. They really try you at this age.
We do timeout's but our time outs are different. We put Caden in our room with one of those door knob child locks on the inside. We wait for him to stop crying and time it for 2 minutes then we go in. Most times it was just the break that BOTH of us needed.
He will get his but spanked if he is doing something that can hurt him and then re-directed.
I did this on ALL of my kids and it took a good 6-12 months before they were well behaved. They all still have their moments, but what kid doesn't. :)
I agree with Elizabeth and many of the others. When Karl acts up or when the girls acted up at his age, I ~never~ just gave up. They were redirected or put in timeout MANY times, as many times as it took. And as they got older, small spankings got in the mix. What worked for us was the consistancy and the fact I NEVER let them get away with it. A fit in public just wasn't ok. Ever. If it meant leaving where we were, even if it was a pain in the ass for ass for me, that's what happened. I can tell you a few times I utilized Daddy to simply come and pick up the misbehaving child, like if I was grocery shopping.
oops, forgot to put you in my reader so I never saw this (did you leave a link on my post? Make sure you do so other's will visit you too).
Okay, font is a bit hard to read but I'm thinking I may actually need glasses.
Discipline, oh man, I totally feel for you. I think boys make for hard toddlers! I often feel like a failure too.
Chicken often tries to get out of time out but I just keep putting him back in. There are times I've had to put him back in up to 30 times before he will stay but he eventually does.
I also find positive redirection helps. ie. when he is kicking me (during a diaper change) I will say "tell your feet to be nice" and then hold his feet and gently rub them on my leg, etc.
I also try really hard to make sure I'm praising him when he is doing good so he's not trying to get attention by being bad.
I also find that keeping him busy REALLY helps and making sure he gets outside at least once a day. Bring a snack to the store, set up activities at home, etc. There are lots of neat books out there that have activities for toddlers that I found really helpful.
Whew, that became a novel! Anyways, just know that everyone feels the way you do sometimes and the kids sitting nicely are just having a good day!!
Post a Comment